


vardeldur.

by lafontaine



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:10:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3381017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafontaine/pseuds/lafontaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short Carmilla/ LaFontaine brotp bonding post Dean crisis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	vardeldur.

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the midst of everything after season one. Warning: mentions alcohol and misgendering.  
> tumblr- literal-cupcake

You don’t know at first why the ginger crew had pulled everyone into your dorm room, but because of the nervous expression on the weird one’s face and the continually wringing of their hands; you kept your mouth shut. It’s not like you had anything better to do like sleeping, reading, or distracting Laura from her Lit paper with poorly constructed airplanes and some minor complaining. After the room settled and some gentle prodding from mother hen, they opened their mouth.

 

_Non binary_. It was something you had heard of, never actually referred to as that, but you were familiar with the description. Never fitting into the designed boxes forced upon people. It was a feeling you knew well in a way. You shook your head as if it would make the lingering thoughts and visions lose their grip on your mind. Now wasn’t about you. The attention was focused on the person whose head was now placed in between their knees and gentle hands of friends tracing patterns into their back. Your heart clenched. It didn’t matter to you. The science geek was Laura’s friend, no, your friend. You were going to honor that no matter what. You didn’t even realize that you had risen off the bed until you were sitting cross legged on the hardwood floor with your hand placed on theirs and a small comforting smile threatening to appear on your face. No matter what.

You have never been good at texting, but ever since Laura changed your ringtone to an annoying pop song you still had trouble eradicating from your brain, you started being more alert towards the small device. Twelve messages from Laura.  _Fuck_ , you think. Did your mother make an unannounced reappearance? Were zombies actually eating her liver? You smiled slightly at your lock screen. It was from an afternoon when the campus was unnaturally silent, but hey, you take those days when you get them. You punched in your lock code. No random ancient, powerful creature sightings, just a misplaced bio major.

Mother hen had her feathers ruffled and Xena was pacing when you arrived at the dorm room.  _Your_ dorm room that had the habit of being occupied by people that weren’t  _you_. Laura made a game plan of spanning out across the campus rummaging through its catacombs. Once the group dispersed, you disregarded all instructions and headed to the closest pub to the campus. It seemed worth a shot and for some reason overlooked by the others. It didn’t take long to spot the flash of red buzz cut and an uncomfortable expression. You sent out a text to the dimwits scrounging through Silas University, and put the phone in your back pocket. There really was no point in reading the  _thank god_  texts messages and questions as to their location. You sighed as you saw the obviously intoxicated gentleman leaning a little too close to the individual in a t-shirt depicting a god awful periodic table pun. You locked eyes with them and you could see a sort of relief across their face. You stepped in front of the drunk frat boy. He teetered backwards slightly as if you had shifted the center of gravity of the entire bar just by interrupting his poor attempts at seduction. You could smell the scotch on his tongue and could see the places where his inebriated state had caused his to miss getting the liquid into his own mouth.

_Excuse me_ , he slurred moving forward as if his stature could convince you to be any place but right there. Though you were disgusted by his display of insistence, you made a promise to yourself and them. No matter what.  _The lady and I were just having a nice conversation_ , he began. You could feel the anger in you bubbling under the surface and you raised your eyebrow. It was a habit Laura found cute, but hopefully others found intimidating (Xena told you, you were too small to be intimidating, only slighting infuriating) .  _Leave them alone_ , you say through clenched teeth. Your face must have started to echo your emotions because his demeanor faltered, but only for a second. Insistence won out in his mind.  _I will do whatever the hell I want and_ , you cut him off with a knee to the groin as he tried to loom over you. Your height gave you an advantage of perfect placement to debilitate him, even if only for a moment. You turned and grabbed their hand and dragged them out the door. You looked at one another once exposed to the outside air. They giggled slightly and you barely cracked a smile, but they noticed it nonetheless. Without a word, you lead them back to the school. They are confused once the science wing comes into view, but you continued on stopping only to grab a bottle of booze from a student’s hand on a bench responding to their protests with a single finger gesture. They shook their head and matched your footsteps as you slid into the building. Their curiosity diminished as you reached the top of the staircase and a door with the words  _roof access_  in view.

You both sat with your legs dangling slightly over the edge of the building and your eyes trained on the occasional student roaming the campus through the night headed to and from parties and friends’ company. You don’t remember exactly how it began, but once the words started leaving their mouth, they didn’t stop. You recognized the tracks going down their cheeks and you passed the bottle. You listened offering your words only when they asked you to. You knew the feeling they were experiencing all too well. They felt out of place, like they were put into a body that didn’t seem theirs but they knew all too well who it belonged to in the end. The overwhelming fear of rejection always looming over their shoulders and the thoughts of  _what if they figure it out before I can tell them? What if they don’t understand? What if, what if what if_. You slipped off from the ledge and laid on your back. It takes time, but they follow suit. Even though the bottle was long forgotten, you spoke as if the liquor was controlling your lips. You knew that telling them  _it will all get better in time_  and patting them on the head would only qualm the thoughts for so long. You could have 300 years, and time may not heal. What had the ability to assist in  healing, you explained, is being surrounded by the people who have the capacity in their hearts to overlook the things about you wish you could change.  _LaFontaine,_  you said. You could hear the quiver in their voice as they whispered back a response.  _You’re fucking great regardless,_  you told them. They laughed slightly and rose up. They looked back at you with tears dried and confidence growing.  _You think so?_ they asked. You closed your eyes with a threat of  _don’t make me repeat myself._  A smile broke across their face for the first time in what seems like hours.  _Does this make us friends?_ they asked, their face growing serious again. You returned with a  _yeah_. They rocked up onto their feet and walked back to the ledge looking once more at Silas.  _That’s good. As long as you don’t call me cupcake._ Now you were laughing. They offered you a hand up and you thanked them saying,  _sure thing, dweeb._

You both returned to the dorm where you found the trio awaiting your arrival. Mother hen swept them up into a hug only to retract quickly with a blush creeping up their neck.  _Are you okay?_ Laura asked. You leaned over draping your arm across their shoulders. You knew from years of luring people in, actual friends were hard to come by, and even harder to maintain. You had never been truly close to anyone as a friend. Not romantically. Not family. Just a friend. It was nice in a way that you hadn’t really known nor acknowledged as possible. You could tell that though they loved the ginger to death,but she was not the best to approach in all situations, and a entity in a computer would be limited to only so much. You hated all that you had gone through, but maybe some of it was worth it if you could help those you cared about. Your eyes locked with Laura’s across the room and you say

_They are just fine_. You turned to Laf’s half goofy half drunken grin and you could smell the cheap whiskey on both of your breaths. No matter what.


End file.
